it doesn't have to be "perfect"

i must admit that the title of this blog post is not really something i often say. you could say that i have been either blessed or cursed by the need to make things perfect. little details - most of which i am likely to be the only person who notices - are very important to me. most of the time i am actually quite comfortable with being a "perfectionist" (it's just something i'm hard wired for) but the major downside is that it can take up alot of your time. let's say for example that it might take most people a "x" amount of time to accomplish a particular project (making a craft, writing a blog post, cooking dinner) - times that by 2 and that's likely how long it will take me. given the amount of projects and deadlines i have going on now i am finding that my tendancy to ponder/over think particular details is just not working for me. it's really not such a bad thing since it's forcing me out of my comfort zone and making me rethink some of work habits. i would be lying to you if i said this was easy for me but it's not as hard as i thought it would be either.

last month i took denyse schmidt's improvisational patchwork workshop and it was just what the doctor ordered. the workshop was on the last day of my trip to new york for martha. i had only 3 weeks to get ready for the show and those 3 weeks were total non-stop insanity trying to prepare and of course it was all about being totally absolutely beyond "perfect". i think i was able to pull everything off but didn't realize it at the time that i really needed to wind down (something i also rarely do) from that experience. i've never made a quilt (and don't envision myself becoming a quilter) so my intention in taking denyse's class was really nothing more than something i had been wanting to do because i admire her work so much. in the workshop you create your patchwork by randomly (without looking) pulling small bits of fabric out of a bag. you have to work with what you get - no mixing and matching of colors and patterns which freed me of the time it would take to ponder over design decisions. it was a very liberating thing for me to do and it's what has put me on the path to rethinking and confronting just how my tendency to always want things to be perfect can sometimes not be such a good thing.

one of my many current deadlines is gathering together elements for show that i'm going to be in. i needed a fabric backdrop of some sort and my first course of action was to try to source some vintage fabric but had no time to hit the flea markets/swap meets/thrift stores and was too overwhelmed by the 5,578 ebay search results for vintage fabric. i wasn't too sure about the fabric i had on hand (we won't go into it here but another major problem i have is that i often run out and buy something that i already have but forgot about) but i pulled out my plastic bin of fabric ayway and discovered that i did have what i needed if i made a patchwork and since the show's theme is all about memory and family the bits and pieces i have left of my mom's fabric were perfect (see there i go again). i was able to cut just enough squares to make the patchwork that would fill in the backdrop - that part was easy. but it was a whole other story when it came to sewing them all together. i had to work fast because i have so much to do and began to notice that the squares were not lining up perfectly. of course my first reaction was to start over and take the time to make them line up - so i stopped and thought about it for a little while. deep down inside i wanted it to be perfect - after all i was using my mom's precious fabrics and this is something that's going to be in a museum - so the pressure was on. but finally came to the conclusion that what i was doing was just fine and forged ahead and finished it up. i suppose that by posting the picture of it here is just a little "progress report" for you on how i'm doing while dealing with this whole perfectionist thing.

Comments

[Tom Early]

Hi Cathy-- Your most recent blog posting struck a cord with me-- Sometimes it's good just to let it go-- Remember in Art School I heard once-- In painting still life-- you should not select something that you love too much. Work with something else and own it..
On another note-- loved you on 'Martha'-- funny she was in Palm Springs last weekend-- rubbed elbows with her in my favorite store-- focused and no nonsense-- she was inquiring about some large copper urns.. Funny as this is my 4th Martha encounter-- fate keeps throwing us together! Take Care- Tom

[Ellen B.]

Your quilt looks perfect to me!!! I love all those colors! Be sure and wear something very plain when you are standing in front of it, or else you'll disappear! (Hmmm? Maybe that's a good thing!)

[Lu]

Cathy! I think it looks bloomin' perfect!